There may be situations where we’re talking to someone who doesn’t care all that much about our emotional well being: a competitor, a family member too angry to care, our boss, etc.   Then a more effective “I” Statement will substitute an action remark in the second stage of the “I” Statement to replace the feelings remark.

1. We state the other person’s bothersome behavior.
   “Jill, you said you’d get that report to me today. But it’s not here.”
   
2. Then, we say that affects us, describing a specific action.
   “Now I can’t complete my financial statement for Jeff that’s due tomorrow.”
   
3. Finally, we tell them exactly what we want.
   “I need your report by 1 p.m. today.”
   
   

   Notice that there’s no guarantee you’ll get what you want in either case.   But that’s life.   Your job is to inform the other person as clearly as possible about what you want and need.

   
   
   
   Adapted from Stop the Anger Now by Ron Potter-Efron, New Harbringer Press, copyright 2001.